Did you know that only 45 percent of Americans are satisfied with their work?  Also, were you aware that  the most cited reasons for job dissatisfaction are: 1) fewer workers consider their jobs to be interesting, 2) incomes not keeping up with inflation and 3) the soaring cost of health insurance ?   These findings were recently reported in a survey conducted by the Conference Board research group which showed that American job satisfaction is at its lowest level in more than 22 years. A January 5th Associated Press article concluded that if the job satisfaction trend is not reversed, it could stifle innovation and hurt U.S. competitiveness and productivity.
 
After considering this, I wonder if over time jobs have gotten less interesting or have we become less interesting in our jobs?   I tend to think it's the latter  considering our growing dependence on impersonal electronic communication:  email, texting, twitter, instant messaging, etc.    Perhaps we are losing the art of conversation.   Meaningful conversation enlivens our job environment and promotes clear, concise communication as well as fostering better relationships.   This is especially  important when conversations involve high stakes.

Recently, I read a book entitled "Crucial Conversations" by Patterson, et al.    The authors define a crucial conversation  as discussions between two or more people where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong.   The typical reactions if these conversations are not handled skillfully are either silence (withdrawing, avoiding) or violence (controlling, labeling, verbally attacking).    These reactions are primarily caused by lack of safety, which triggers the flight or fight response.   Examples of these types of conversations abound in our workplace and personal lives: negative performance feedback, cost cutting measures, required unpaid overtime, where to go on vacation, etc.    Poorly managed conversations certainly can contribute to low job satisfaction.

Fortunately, we can develop skills in handling these crucial conversations.  The book offers great insight and tools.   Two ways to improve quickly are: 1)  learn to look for when we are getting out of the conversation by resorting to silence or violence, and 2)  make it safer to engage in dialog through a number of techniques.   Showing interest in others views, apologizing or other ways to make people feel more comfortable are a few examples.   Additionally, understanding the Path to Action is the key to increasing our awareness of the situation.   The Path to Action is simply what happens between hearing or seeing something and the action that results.   In between we tell ourselves a story about what we heard or saw and then feel an emotion which causes us to act.    Stepping out of this automatic path and getting clear on what we want to happen oftentimes will cause us to make it safer for a meaningful conversation to take place and prevent our emotions and assumptions from ruling the conversation.

So, if you find yourself stuck in situations either at work or your personal life where you are frustrated by the behavior of others, make a commitment to bring more meaning into these relationships and take them to another level by improving your conversation skills.   A small investment in the above mentioned book, practicing the recommended techniques, and perhaps getting a coach can put you on the path to success in 2010.   Give us a call if you would like to have a conversation about how to improve your communication skills.

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